Still Waiting

I spoke with our agency today. There has still not been any movement on the Vietnam issues so they are not proceeding with anything until the families who already have proposals are completed. But she did say that she was optimistic that it would happen, it would just take time. Ahhh....

The other reason that I had called was to find out more about local adoption. When we first started our homestudy it was always with the assumption that we would go on both the local list for an infant as well as an international list. When we completed our homestudy and all of the paperwork, the Vietnam list was moving so quickly that we never did a local profile. Now that Vietnam has come to virtual standstill, we have been thinking about the local list again. The good news is that our social worker did complete both versions of our homestudy, one for Vietnam and one for local! We only received a copy of the Vietnam one so I wasn’t sure if both had been done - but the agency has both versions. So now if we want to go on the local list all we have to do is put together a profile package and submit it.

...And then wait some more!!

Now I Get It...

This whole Haiti thing is driving me CRAZY. I thought my previous post would help to inform people around us about adoption from Haiti and our feelings. But I swear if I hear one more person say “too bad you are not adopting from Haiti” - I might just blow!
No, it is not too bad and no, I am not regretting any of the decisions we have made.

Erwin and I have been to many adoption seminars and we almost always comment afterwards that some people really seem too emotional about comments and questions from others; to the point where they share their typical or sarcastic response to an overly asked question and honestly, it often borders on rude. When discussing this, Erwin and I always come to the conclusion that most questions and comments that people ask come from a place of caring and curiosity, not a place of mal-intent. So I keep trying to remind myself of that now but... now I get it. Now I am really beginning to understand why and how other adoptive parents have been driven to that place of needing to make up that witty response.

The unfortunate part is if I were to blow, I would feel so sorry for that poor person. Because they would only have asked the question once or made the comment once, not knowing that I have heard it multiple times a day for the past week and a bit. Breathe in. Breathe out. It is the weekend.

"Why Don't You Just Adopt From Haiti?"

Many friends and family have been asking us about adopting from Haiti since the earthquake and hearing news reports that these adoptions are going to be prioritized. I thought I’d write a comment here to clarify / explain what I know and how we feel.


First of all, the news reports that I have seen and what I have read on our BC Ministry website, say that adoptions that are already in process are going to be prioritized by the Canadian government. What that means is that families who were already on the waitlist and have already had a child from Haiti referred to them would be in this group.

This does not mean that Erwin and I can just phone someone up change our country that we want to adopt from and be on an expedited list. There is in fact, a whole homestudy process that has to be followed if you change countries. Right now our homestudy has been geared towards a child from Asia. There is an education portion to a homestudy and in that portion you are taken through risk factors and issues for the region that you are adopting from and you need to demonstrate knowledge and acceptance of these things. For Vietnam, many of the risk factors centred around all forms of hepatitis. From what I have read, risk factors for Haiti include a high possibility of HIV / AIDS. So although our homestudy would not have to start over from scratch we would need to demonstrate knowledge and acceptance of the risk factors. That is something that Erwin and I could not do quickly. Perhaps some adoptive parents could decide quickly and that is great for them. But I can only comment on us and we are not impulsive people. We think every decision through very carefully and need to take the time to process what a child with those types of high needs would look like in our family. As part of the process you would discuss these things with your social worker and they write the homestudy report with a particular country in mind so that they can highlight the qualifications needed for that country and make a recommendation of how able a family is to manage the risk factors.

The other thing that people should know is that the reason our government can prioritize adoptions that are already in progress is that the background checks on these children have already taken place. A child cannot be referred until the proper checks have happened in the home country to state that the child is legally available for adoption. Even after that happens, most countries have a set time period in which they try to find a family for the child in their own country (I do not know if Haiti does this). Only after that step, is the child referred to a family from abroad. So although our government may see the need to find families for orphans in Haiti and say they are going to expedite the process, they can only do that on our end. There is still the government of the other country to consider. At times of natural disasters, such as the earthquake in Haiti, the government there is not able to quickly determine whether a child has in fact been orphaned. Perhaps family members are hurt and separated so time is needed to determine whether the child really is an orphan and to try to locate extended family. Also, it is clear from the news reports that the government in Haiti is struggling with finding places to work and mobilizing the necessary resources. Therefore the agencies and government officials that oversee adoptions may have been given other priorities and directives in this time of devastation. Once again all of these things will slow down the adoption process. So although the media seems to be reporting that adoptions from Haiti will be quick, I personally very much doubt that is the reality.

If you are reading this and are thinking about adopting an orphan from Haiti, it is not my intent to discourage you. It is very obvious that the children in Haiti need families. And if you are ready and wanting to adopt from Haiti then that is the right decision for you and I wish you every bit of luck and success in making your dreams come true and bringing your child home. But this blog is about Erwin and I and we wanted to use it here to explain to family and friends why we are not suddenly rushing out to adopt a child from Haiti.

At the moment we are giving the Vietnam waitlist a chance to see if it moves forward. As I have written previously, we have been told things are progressing, but very slowly. If things remain at a standstill (which is how it feels right now) then we will explore other options when we decide the time is right for us, but I can guarantee it will not be a decision made lightly or quickly.

Dreams

I had my first adoption dream last night!  I am surprised it took so long since this seems to be the only thing I ever think about.  Anyways, like all dreams (at least mine) it was kind of vague and I can't remember as many of the details as I would like but I thought I'd write about it here so I can compare later and see if there was any truth to it.

I was in a room possibly a locker room or a laundry mat (that could be since we just got a new washing machine yesterday and laundry has also been on my mind) with two people that I know.  One was someone whom I curl with and the other was a colleague.  It was an odd combination, as these two ladies do not know each other nor do they know that we are trying to adopt internationally.  Anyways, it was about this time next year and they ask me if Erwin and I are planning to do anything for spring break.  I answer that we are actually going to Vietnam before spring break to adopt a baby.  I started explaining everything about the trip to them, including dates - which of course I cannot remember exactly but it was sometime around end of February beginning of March 2011 that we were going to be travelling to Vietnam. 

I am not really one who 'reads' anything into dreams so I am certainly not going to mark my calendar or anything but who knows maybe this time next year I'll be rereading this post with amusement!

Patience Required

We received an update from our agency today that adoptions between Canada and Vietnam are to remain open at this point in time.  This is good news.  However referrals are expected to slow down considerably.  This is because Vietnam officials are trying to implement some of the recommendations cited in the ISS report.  They are being very diligent in reviewing all paperwork and completing investigations thoroughly.  This of course will then result in delays and extended timelines to complete adoptions. 

So although we are disappointed that things will take longer.  We both realize that is for the better that proper procedures are followed.  Ultimately it is not about us - it is about the right decisions being made for the children.  So we will continue to wait...patiently.

Playing with Pictures

Okay, this post has nothing to do with adoption, I just wanted to see how inserting pictures into my posts went.  I am sure pictures will make it much more interesting!!

Dechristmasfication (my new word for the season) is complete in just a few short hours I went from this:

to this:

Scooter was trying to "help" the whole time!!

And while we were doing that - Erwin was making laksa for lunch.

Mmmmm.